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( ichigo only gets two days to reflect on his actions after grimmjow stormed out on him. that's it. that's all he gets.
'cause the longer the boy sequesters himself away, the angrier he gets. stupid how that works. )
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT? ( in brighter news, he sounds livelier now that some time has passed. )
'cause the longer the boy sequesters himself away, the angrier he gets. stupid how that works. )
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT? ( in brighter news, he sounds livelier now that some time has passed. )
（ ichigo sighs, drags his hands through his hair and then stands up out of the ridiculous bean-bag chair in one corner of the painted room, walks over to the door and throws it open. grimmjow gets a scowl that's less petulant teenager and 'my face is just like this, deal with it.'
happy? ）
happy? ）
( he is not happy, so he matches ichigo's scowl headon.
a portrait of politesse, he pushes past him wordlessly, not bothering with a greeting. his first order of business is to find that broken piece of his mask. he won't overturn his entire room for it since he expects it to be placed somewhere decent. )
a portrait of politesse, he pushes past him wordlessly, not bothering with a greeting. his first order of business is to find that broken piece of his mask. he won't overturn his entire room for it since he expects it to be placed somewhere decent. )
( of course it isn't anywhere decent. the realization only irks him more.
maybe it rolled under one of the furniture. most evident place to check first would be under the bed, so he lifts it up with one hand and lo and behold! he has found the damn horn. snatching it up, he drops the bed back down. he holds it in the palm of his hand for a moment before he finally looks over at ichigo.
reeling his arm back, grimmjow throws the horn straight at his head. )
maybe it rolled under one of the furniture. most evident place to check first would be under the bed, so he lifts it up with one hand and lo and behold! he has found the damn horn. snatching it up, he drops the bed back down. he holds it in the palm of his hand for a moment before he finally looks over at ichigo.
reeling his arm back, grimmjow throws the horn straight at his head. )
（ why are you LIKE this.
depression and general malaise aside, ichigo has been dodging things thrown at his head with unerring accuracy since he was a literal child, because isshin is terrible, so of course he catches it. ）
What. Why are you being so weird about this.
（ says the guy who was 100 percent ready to resort to homoerotic cannibalism as an artform because that's what's Fair and Just. ）
depression and general malaise aside, ichigo has been dodging things thrown at his head with unerring accuracy since he was a literal child, because isshin is terrible, so of course he catches it. ）
What. Why are you being so weird about this.
（ says the guy who was 100 percent ready to resort to homoerotic cannibalism as an artform because that's what's Fair and Just. ）
I'm not being weird about shit.
( he plops down onto the mattress of the bed unceremoniously. )
Don't ever do that again! ( he points his finger at the caught horn. ) So what if you fuckin' hurt me? Who do you take me for? Don't think just 'cause you got stronger, you're better than me. ( he jabs his thumb against his chest indicatively. ) I'm still an Espada! I'm not some fuckin' lamb that needs to be looked after and handfed. How am I supposed to fight you as an equal if you break off a piece of yourself every single time you get the upper hand on me? Think I'm gonna be grateful for it or some shit?
( he lets out a scoff. ) What a fuckin' joke.
( he leans forward in his seat, resting his arms on top of his lap. sharp eyes focuses in on him as he clasps his hands together. )
I've thought about it. What you said to me back in Hueco Mundo. What you said to me the other day right here in this ugly ass room. We're gonna fight over and over again. You beat me down, I'll stand back up. I expect the same of you. Sure, it pisses me off that you got two years on me, but don't look down on me, boy. I'll catch up to you in no time and I don't gotta eat any part of you to do it. So if you wanna keep being sad and pitiful, go ahead! Just don't fuckin' do it on my account 'cause it makes me sick.
( he plops down onto the mattress of the bed unceremoniously. )
Don't ever do that again! ( he points his finger at the caught horn. ) So what if you fuckin' hurt me? Who do you take me for? Don't think just 'cause you got stronger, you're better than me. ( he jabs his thumb against his chest indicatively. ) I'm still an Espada! I'm not some fuckin' lamb that needs to be looked after and handfed. How am I supposed to fight you as an equal if you break off a piece of yourself every single time you get the upper hand on me? Think I'm gonna be grateful for it or some shit?
( he lets out a scoff. ) What a fuckin' joke.
( he leans forward in his seat, resting his arms on top of his lap. sharp eyes focuses in on him as he clasps his hands together. )
I've thought about it. What you said to me back in Hueco Mundo. What you said to me the other day right here in this ugly ass room. We're gonna fight over and over again. You beat me down, I'll stand back up. I expect the same of you. Sure, it pisses me off that you got two years on me, but don't look down on me, boy. I'll catch up to you in no time and I don't gotta eat any part of you to do it. So if you wanna keep being sad and pitiful, go ahead! Just don't fuckin' do it on my account 'cause it makes me sick.
（ well, when you say it like that... ichigo takes up a chair opposite grimmjow, and just. listens. he hadn't thought about it from that perspective, but... he's done this before, hasn't he? to a friend. telling chad off with the espada, hurting him in a way he didn't realize until rukia pointed it out.
he sets the piece of the horn down on the table beside the bed. it can stay there for now, a reminder.
he exhales, fingers laced between his thighs. ）
All right.
（ he doesn't try to justify himself, or explain. all he can do is accept and move on. you don't get to decide when your actions do or don't harm others, and he doubts grimmjow would accept an apology, so. ）
You already know I like fighting with you. But I don't like being... how I was.
（ he tips his head to one side, stretching out a kink in his neck, and then drops his head down until he's just looking at the floor. ）
It was like that when I fought Ulquiorra.
（ he's not going to say it's not me. because it is him, the part that scares orihime so badly he trained until he didn't need to rely on it anymore... he accepted shiro long ago, but accepting that something is a part of you, making space for its existence isn't quite the same as embracing it, either. ichigo doesn't like the way it makes him feel, ruthless and bloodthirsty and cruel.
but he knows hollows can change, for better or worse. shiro's already better than he was. whatever this journey is, they're in it together with old man zangetsu. ）
he sets the piece of the horn down on the table beside the bed. it can stay there for now, a reminder.
he exhales, fingers laced between his thighs. ）
All right.
（ he doesn't try to justify himself, or explain. all he can do is accept and move on. you don't get to decide when your actions do or don't harm others, and he doubts grimmjow would accept an apology, so. ）
You already know I like fighting with you. But I don't like being... how I was.
（ he tips his head to one side, stretching out a kink in his neck, and then drops his head down until he's just looking at the floor. ）
It was like that when I fought Ulquiorra.
（ he's not going to say it's not me. because it is him, the part that scares orihime so badly he trained until he didn't need to rely on it anymore... he accepted shiro long ago, but accepting that something is a part of you, making space for its existence isn't quite the same as embracing it, either. ichigo doesn't like the way it makes him feel, ruthless and bloodthirsty and cruel.
but he knows hollows can change, for better or worse. shiro's already better than he was. whatever this journey is, they're in it together with old man zangetsu. ）
Edited 2022-10-03 21:46 (UTC)
( how he was.
well, he was different. felt different. all that anger and frustration spilling over into vicious attacks and merciless strikes. it wasn't like the ichigo he had fought not too long ago in hueco mundo, but—... his emotions just got the better of him, didn't they?
he likes the anger way better than the sadness permeating from him, so he really ain't the guy to dissuage him from it. )
Ulquiorra, huh? ( he feels a pang of envy upon hearing that. why was ulquiorra able to push him to that point first and not him? ) He must have had his hands full with you then. ( if ichigo had beat aizen, then he doesn't need to ask for the results of that battle. )
well, he was different. felt different. all that anger and frustration spilling over into vicious attacks and merciless strikes. it wasn't like the ichigo he had fought not too long ago in hueco mundo, but—... his emotions just got the better of him, didn't they?
he likes the anger way better than the sadness permeating from him, so he really ain't the guy to dissuage him from it. )
Ulquiorra, huh? ( he feels a pang of envy upon hearing that. why was ulquiorra able to push him to that point first and not him? ) He must have had his hands full with you then. ( if ichigo had beat aizen, then he doesn't need to ask for the results of that battle. )
Something like that.
（ he drags his hands through his hair, mussing it up with a flat, frustrated palm. he still has nightmares about that time, and it's not always ulquiorra he's ripping to pieces. ）
Anyway — I won't do it again. You're right, you deserve better.
（ he drags his hands through his hair, mussing it up with a flat, frustrated palm. he still has nightmares about that time, and it's not always ulquiorra he's ripping to pieces. ）
Anyway — I won't do it again. You're right, you deserve better.
（ what. where? why.
ichigo doesn't exactly protest, since he has an alarming tendency to tolerate being pushed around, dragged, or straight up packed places that are inevitably dangerous or worse, but it doesn't mean he's not Confused. ）
What are you doing?
（ he thought we were just gonna chill in the room and Be Sad, what gives!! ）
ichigo doesn't exactly protest, since he has an alarming tendency to tolerate being pushed around, dragged, or straight up packed places that are inevitably dangerous or worse, but it doesn't mean he's not Confused. ）
What are you doing?
（ he thought we were just gonna chill in the room and Be Sad, what gives!! ）
（ still... letting himself get tugged along without much resistance. ）
Going out... to Stygia? I don't think the ships even run this late — and I don't know that either of us can maintain reishi across the bay.
（ are we gonna get drowned, grimmjow. is that what we're doing. ）
Going out... to Stygia? I don't think the ships even run this late — and I don't know that either of us can maintain reishi across the bay.
（ are we gonna get drowned, grimmjow. is that what we're doing. ）
（ grimmjow... please, let him rest. ichigo heaves a sigh, but finally starts walking under his own power instead of being haphazardly dragged across the wasteland.
and finally, just to be a petty shit about it — ）
Fine. Race you to the mausoleum.
（ he'll take shunpo over sonido any day, son. nyoom nyoom. ）
and finally, just to be a petty shit about it — ）
Fine. Race you to the mausoleum.
（ he'll take shunpo over sonido any day, son. nyoom nyoom. ）
[Considering how she saw neither hide nor hair of him after the whole debacle, Fukawa supposes she ought to make sure he didn't fall directly into a sword. How annoying. So here she is, checking in:]
Are you dead now?
[Yes or no will suffice.]
Are you dead now?
[Yes or no will suffice.]
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