๏ผ well, when you say it like that... ichigo takes up a chair opposite grimmjow, and just. listens. he hadn't thought about it from that perspective, but... he's done this before, hasn't he? to a friend. telling chad off with the espada, hurting him in a way he didn't realize until rukia pointed it out.
he sets the piece of the horn down on the table beside the bed. it can stay there for now, a reminder.
he exhales, fingers laced between his thighs. ๏ผ
All right.
๏ผ he doesn't try to justify himself, or explain. all he can do is accept and move on. you don't get to decide when your actions do or don't harm others, and he doubts grimmjow would accept an apology, so. ๏ผ
You already know I like fighting with you. But I don't like being... how I was.
๏ผ he tips his head to one side, stretching out a kink in his neck, and then drops his head down until he's just looking at the floor. ๏ผ
It was like that when I fought Ulquiorra.
๏ผ he's not going to say it's not me. because it is him, the part that scares orihime so badly he trained until he didn't need to rely on it anymore... he accepted shiro long ago, but accepting that something is a part of you, making space for its existence isn't quite the same as embracing it, either. ichigo doesn't like the way it makes him feel, ruthless and bloodthirsty and cruel.
but he knows hollows can change, for better or worse. shiro's already better than he was. whatever this journey is, they're in it together with old man zangetsu. ๏ผ
well, he was different. felt different. all that anger and frustration spilling over into vicious attacks and merciless strikes. it wasn't like the ichigo he had fought not too long ago in hueco mundo, butโ... his emotions just got the better of him, didn't they?
he likes the anger way better than the sadness permeating from him, so he really ain't the guy to dissuage him from it. )
Ulquiorra, huh? ( he feels a pang of envy upon hearing that. why was ulquiorra able to push him to that point first and not him? ) He must have had his hands full with you then. ( if ichigo had beat aizen, then he doesn't need to ask for the results of that battle. )
๏ผ he drags his hands through his hair, mussing it up with a flat, frustrated palm. he still has nightmares about that time, and it's not always ulquiorra he's ripping to pieces. ๏ผ
Anyway — I won't do it again. You're right, you deserve better.
ichigo doesn't exactly protest, since he has an alarming tendency to tolerate being pushed around, dragged, or straight up packed places that are inevitably dangerous or worse, but it doesn't mean he's not Confused. ๏ผ
What are you doing?
๏ผ he thought we were just gonna chill in the room and Be Sad, what gives!! ๏ผ
๏ผ grimmjow... please, let him rest. ichigo heaves a sigh, but finally starts walking under his own power instead of being haphazardly dragged across the wasteland.
and finally, just to be a petty shit about it — ๏ผ
Fine. Race you to the mausoleum.
๏ผ he'll take shunpo over sonido any day, son. nyoom nyoom. ๏ผ
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he sets the piece of the horn down on the table beside the bed. it can stay there for now, a reminder.
he exhales, fingers laced between his thighs. ๏ผ
All right.
๏ผ he doesn't try to justify himself, or explain. all he can do is accept and move on. you don't get to decide when your actions do or don't harm others, and he doubts grimmjow would accept an apology, so. ๏ผ
You already know I like fighting with you. But I don't like being... how I was.
๏ผ he tips his head to one side, stretching out a kink in his neck, and then drops his head down until he's just looking at the floor. ๏ผ
It was like that when I fought Ulquiorra.
๏ผ he's not going to say it's not me. because it is him, the part that scares orihime so badly he trained until he didn't need to rely on it anymore... he accepted shiro long ago, but accepting that something is a part of you, making space for its existence isn't quite the same as embracing it, either. ichigo doesn't like the way it makes him feel, ruthless and bloodthirsty and cruel.
but he knows hollows can change, for better or worse. shiro's already better than he was. whatever this journey is, they're in it together with old man zangetsu. ๏ผ
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well, he was different. felt different. all that anger and frustration spilling over into vicious attacks and merciless strikes. it wasn't like the ichigo he had fought not too long ago in hueco mundo, butโ... his emotions just got the better of him, didn't they?
he likes the anger way better than the sadness permeating from him, so he really ain't the guy to dissuage him from it. )
Ulquiorra, huh? ( he feels a pang of envy upon hearing that. why was ulquiorra able to push him to that point first and not him? ) He must have had his hands full with you then. ( if ichigo had beat aizen, then he doesn't need to ask for the results of that battle. )
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๏ผ he drags his hands through his hair, mussing it up with a flat, frustrated palm. he still has nightmares about that time, and it's not always ulquiorra he's ripping to pieces. ๏ผ
Anyway — I won't do it again. You're right, you deserve better.
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hopping right up onto his feet, grimmjow storms over to ichigo, reaching down to grab his wrist to pull him out the door with him. )
Let's go then!
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ichigo doesn't exactly protest, since he has an alarming tendency to tolerate being pushed around, dragged, or straight up packed places that are inevitably dangerous or worse, but it doesn't mean he's not Confused. ๏ผ
What are you doing?
๏ผ he thought we were just gonna chill in the room and Be Sad, what gives!! ๏ผ
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( don't ask stupid questions, ichigo! )
We're going out! ( and they sure are going out, right outta that door. )
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Going out... to Stygia? I don't think the ships even run this late — and I don't know that either of us can maintain reishi across the bay.
๏ผ are we gonna get drowned, grimmjow. is that what we're doing. ๏ผ
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( oh no, do you see this feral grin, ichigo? you know what he's 'bout to say, don't you? )
We're gonna fight. ( #onetrackmind #neverchangegrimmjow )
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and finally, just to be a petty shit about it — ๏ผ
Fine. Race you to the mausoleum.
๏ผ he'll take shunpo over sonido any day, son. nyoom nyoom. ๏ผ
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( shunpo his ass. sonido is where it's at!!! )